the Art of Living
The Art of Living
I am experiencing a bit of a crisis
these days: My wife is overseas and I’m all alone, though luckily my little boy
(Yani) has moved back in with me, so I do have company. Actually I’m quite good
at being alone, yet this “miss you” thing is big and much in the forefront of
my being right now. What does it mean? Normally I resent the notion of ... “I need
you”. I think I can be happy all on my own, at least I think I should be able
to.
Jan and Carsten
This brings me to a pertinent
question: Is there an Art of Living? What are the factors that make Living possible, bearable, enjoyable? This question is closely related to the one
posted a few days ago What is A Good Life, to which the answer was (among a few
material things) Good Relationships.
We have a good life if we have a good
relationship with our partner and good relationships with those around us. To
which degree then are we dependent on our relationship for our wellbeing? This too
is a loaded question, because for most of us losing our relationship spells
disaster.
One definition of enlightenment is
to accept, detach, let go (To Do List for this life). That does extend to
relationships. We may find out in ways that hurt terribly that clinging on to
another person - because we love them dearly - is counterproductive and may
actually jeopardize ours and their wellbeing. Furthermore, such clinging quite
likely is a barrier to any notion of enlightenment. Enlightenment encompasses a
sense of Self-reliance; it is said that before you, behind you, next to you,
above you, underneath you ... you find nothing more valuable than what’s within you.
Those who have found an equilibrium
in their life, where self-reliance is balanced with the idea that if you give
you shall receive (one path to happiness is to give to others what
you want for yourself [the law of reciprocity] - if you love you shall be loved) may have found the
secret to the Art of Living.
Then we may be able to accept a
premier rule of living: Nothing Matters. In fact all that matters is our
Knowledge of the Self (in my book en.light.en.ment I have an essay: Know Your Self), the concept that if we’re true to ourselves and follow
the fundamental law in life, the Golden Rule (do to others as you want done to
yourself) and live a life of compassion and forgiveness. Then any throwbacks
become lessons. Any loss creates opportunity and shall be met with the
attitude of:
This too shall pass; I will be OK.
Jan and Athena in Copenhagen