The issue is youngsters – both boys and girls – invariably want to find out about nudity and sex, which is something parents invariably do NOT want to talk about. Let me help you out here, Mum and Dad …
“If we had better sex ed, young people would not look to porn as education, just like they don’t look to a movie to learn how to act in the world … When it comes to sex, or even nudes, we talk about it so little. Of course, they’re naturally curious at a certain age, and if the only thing to look at is porn, then of course they’ll look at porn.”
Asa Akira, porn actor
… so, I wish to contribute to the discussion with a Sex Education … featuring photos, educational pictures of both females and males I sourced on the internet.
Boys ‘n girls, you must check with your parents this is OK with them.
How does life begin? A sex education
In respect of the sex education of youngsters, above all, abortion is to be avoided … and when talking about sexual activity and porn, I am talking about children from 10 years old onward.
We know life begins with a sperm fertilizing an egg. For that a sex act is required … the insertion of the penis into the vagina. When the boy thrusts his pelvis the penis and the vagina as well as the clitoris get stimulated to the point of orgasm, and you’ll ejaculate sperm into your girlfriend.
But wait a minute … this story actually is not at all about how life begins, but about how to avoid beginning another life, and concen-trating on the fun stuff. Because, what is the sex act all about?
Well, two things, 1) procreation, to make babies; 2) recreation, it feels good … it’s fun.
Youngsters, you do understand this, don’t you: when you have sex … it’s quite possible you will fall pregnant, unless you protect yourself, which you must, because you’re too young to make a baby.
When you are old enough you can access the ‘anti-baby’ pill, until then you must use condoms; they catch the ejaculate and prevent it from impregnating you.
But we are getting ahead of ourselves. Because as young teens you definitely don’t want to have ‘real’ sex, in as much as, you don’t want penetration of the penis into the vagina.
There are many steps before that of having sex without penetration and the risk of pregnancy.
For parents it is important to realize that their early teen-age children, even pre teen-age children, have sexual feelings; they very early on learn that rubbing their penis or clitoris feels good.
Once I was child minding a little boy, and I became aware he was simulating sex with his teddy. He was naked, his little penis was erect and he was on top of his teddy. I said, “hmm, why are you doing that?” “Because it feels good,” he said with a big smile on his face.
So the first sexual experiences are of masturbation. When I was young I was ashamed of masturbating. I masturbated in my bed, and ejaculated into my sheets. My poor Mum never said a word, but for quite a while she quietly washed my sheet practically every day.
Here’s a hint: when you masturbate have a roll of paper towels handy. And don’t be ashamed of the activity … in fact, it is important that you learn how to masturbate, so you can show your girlfriend how to do it. This is (this should be) your and your girlfriend’s first sexual activity.
Boys, do yourself a favor, don’t start having sex at an early age with trying to have intercourse. It is quite likely both you and your girlfriend are not ready for it.
It is also likely that you will require to have relief from your pent-up sexual tension long before your girlfriend requires it … and you, the girl, want to commit to this activity with gusto.
Masturbate your boyfriend so that he ‘comes’ and shoots out his load of semen / sperms / cum (and don’t get fooled by the porn he may have been watching that you have to let him give you a ‘facial’ – come on your face … if you think that’s gross, let him know.)
I believe for boys to masturbate with their girlfriends is a very important step when it comes to learning to control the very strong sexual desire of teenagers. Actually masturbation is a desirable activity, it may prevent rape. In fact, not just rape, but any unwanted touching, pushing into corners and doing something the girl doesn’t want – and don’t you, young man, try to manipulate her into ‘doing it’ by saying, “oh, you don’t like me, is that it?” She does like you … and even more so if you are not pushy. This brings us to the ‘C’ word:
Consent. Consent. C O N S E N T. Make no mistake: alongside avoiding unwanted pregnancy and abortion, consent is the biggest issue in respect of boys’ and girls’ first sexual experiences.
Before anything happens, my dear boy, you must make sure your girlfriend is comfortable with it. You must get a firm, “yes, I want to do that”. Never ever do you have the right to assume consent.
Consent must be explicitly given, it cannot be taken for granted. Ever.
I mentioned porn. Pornography is a two-sided issue. On the one hand it is easy to access since it is so very present on the internet. On the other hand, porn may be gross, offensive and addictive. But the fact is, many people – men and women alike – enjoy porn and consume it without falling into that deep hole of addiction. While some porn is aggressive, much of porn is benign and can be used when one requires stimulation alongside masturbation and ‘fooling around’.
But, boys, don’t coerce your girlfriend into performing acrobatic acts that may injure both of you.
One popular thing on the internet is oral sex. Make no mistake, this is a satisfying step instead of intercourse … and it is safe. Oral sex works well for both of you; it’s probably best after a shower or a good wash of your private parts. A ‘blow job’, combined with a ‘hand job’ will go a long way to satisfying both of you … and take it easy, give your tongue-work your full attention, don’t rush.
On that note, let me make a salient point here, young man: your girlfriend – while she may be near as horny as you are – may have a different need for speed than yourself. She may wish to take things more slowly than you. She may want a lot more kissing and cuddling, gentle touching, even whispering of sweet nothings … “Sweet Nothing” is a song by Taylor Swift, about her appreciation of her lover for his calming presence and simple gestures … not expecting anything from her and describing him as a calm and reliable presence amidst the chaotic world outside.
Getit? E a s y does it. Be gentle. Be understanding. Be loving.
And with every step you take, remember: consent. Young lady, giving your consent means you knowingly and freely agree to take part in sexual activity. Consent must be voluntary and informed, and you can change your mind at any time. ‘Informed consent’ means you understand what you are giving consent to and there is nothing preventing you from changing your mind to take part in sexual activity. Before you do anything … talk about what you are about to do, tell him what you don’t want to do; it may prevent sexual violence, which is when someone does sexual things to you without your informed consent. Even if you’re in a relationship with someone – if you are boyfriend / girlfriend – they still need your consent to engage in sexual activity with you.
‘Informed consent’ means there is nothing stopping you from giving consent or understanding what you are consenting to. Informed consent cannot be given if you are passed out due to drugs or alcohol; or if you are asleep; or if you are conscious, but the effect of alcohol means you are unable to say what you do or don’t want; or the other person makes you feel too scared to say no.
Here’s the thing: some times girls remember they were having a good time and then they woke up with their underpants missing. Next their period didn’t come … they were pregnant. Not. Good.
There are some situations where it is never okay for someone to do sexual things with you … even if you consent. This happens if the other person holds a position of authority over you, where they have the power to tell you what to do.
In any case: showing interest – isn’t consent; flirting, agreeing to go on a date – isn’t consent … furthermore, consent must happen every time, for each act. Boys, just because she agreed to engage in a sexual activity once, does not mean she agreed to do it at any other time.
Girls, if you agreed to do one sexual thing, it doesn’t mean they can do other sexual things. You may kiss; he tries to fondle your breasts: “I thought you’d like it ?!” … he assumes consent.
There exists an unsavoury issue with consent: what happens if the girl revokes consent after there was sexual activity? She may have regrets or fears to be ‘slut-shamed’; to ‘save face’ she may blame the boy for having taken advantage of her. Girls, you have a responsibility to boys as well. Don’t cry wolf after you have given consent. Don’t crush a boy’s reputation wilfully; the reputation issue cuts both ways … it is as important for boys as it is for girls.
This leads us to an important consideration: choose your partner carefully. Girls, if a boy is very boisterous, if he is one who quickly loses his temper, who easily gets into a fight … think about it, will he be good relationship material? Is he likely to be gentle and considerate? Are there indications he might be an abuser?
Also, make yourself aware of a particular difference between women and men: a woman will on average have two or three children in her life. For that reason she is likely to choose her partner carefully, she wants the best genes for her offspring. It is very different for men: each and every man – subconsciously (mostly) – believes they are God’s gift to creation. They think they are the best of the best, and for that reason they want to spread themselves around as much as possible. They wish to have sex with as many women as possible … in Elon Musk’s case, bring many, many – 14 – children into the world.
A word about abuse: obviously any coercion or force – physical or verbal – is abuse. But talking derogatorily of your partner, sharing private or damaging information, videos and photos, is also abuse. Respect, boys and girls; R E S P E C T – as the song goes; you expect it … you must give it.
What’s more: both of you, resist the temptation of producing porn-selfies; especially you, young lady … don’t get bullied into taking photos that may compromise you further down the track. Revenge porn on social media is a real thing. Be very, very careful. Think.
So, before you engage in any sexual activity, think carefully about what you want and what you don’t want. Make sure it is not just enjoyable, but also safe; furthermore … talk to your parents.
____________________________
Below is a pictorial with the interesting bits of girls and boys; we all know that kids want to find out about nudity and sex. There is plenty of porn on the internet … not too much of it suitable for youngsters.
However, I don’t consider simple nudes, like my erotic photoart, porn. So, what is porn? I think – while some porn is benign – the porn we decry and want to keep from our children is demeaning … even nasty.
Of course this content is controversial and everyone will have their own idea as to what constitutes porn and what is permissible. But one thing is clear: youngsters wish to explore the other sex.
I believe these pictures are better for that purpose than mainstream pornography. So here are some educational pics, of both females and males. These photos are not mine, sourced from the internet.
In my erotic photoart I never photographed male nudes, just women. When girls look at these photos, they’ll learn that men come in all sizes and shapes, as well as ‘cut’ and ‘uncut’ … circumsized, or not.
Below my essay on pornography, from my book en.light.en.ment:
PORNOGRAPHY
We describe many depictions of nudity and sex as pornography. The expression has a negative connotation. ‘Decent’ people reject pornography; at least theyprofess to do so. This is understandable when such depictions involve coercion and violence.
However, to refer to depictions of nudity – or normal sexual activity between consenting adults – in a defamatory way, seems hypocritical; after all sex is an activity we engage in with pleasure.
Yet, there is no doubt many such depictions are in poor taste and should be disregarded.
But I find it remarkable that many people are more easily affronted by the display of nakedness or sex than that of violence, including state authorised violence, such as mutilation and killing during war; just as some of us tolerate flagrant antisocial behaviour.
Racism, white-collar crime, fraud and corruption are readily accepted, yet I suspect the bourgeois concern for pornography is a smokescreen for truly obscene acts, such as arms dealing, politicians’ fearmongering and spin-doctoring, patriotic propaganda and religious brainwashing. We can ignore pornography; but we are time and again forcibly exposed to true obscenity.
My Erotic Manifesto
Why erotica? Why erotic art? Why Erotic Photoart? Sacred as opposed to religious – with its blame, For Sigmund Freud (1856 – 1939), the Austrian disgrace and sinfulness. Sex that is celebrated, neurologist and founder of the psychoanalytic talked about, written about, depicted – sex that school of psychiatry, the libido or eros, the desire is not taboo.
My Erotic Photoart is sexy, sensual, for survival, propagation and sex, was the most artistic and adventurous. However, it does test important motivating force in life. Richard Holloway, formerly Bishop of Edinburgh, Primus of the Scottish Episcopal Church, Gresham Professor of Divinity, says in his book Between the Monster and the Saint: “The fuck is as fundamental as the fight.” (OK, he says it the other way around, in a different context; same thing, though.) So, is sex important? You bet it is. What shall we do about it? Well, one of two things: We may ignore our sex drive and do nothing about it, we even may go so far as to suppressing it (many do, probably for psychological or religious reasons) or we revel in it.
I do the latter. I like sex; always have, always will. I am a follower of tantra: Guiltless, art-ful sex. Not sex for procreation, where women are reproduction facilities – but sex for mutual pleasure.
Then sex is a reciprocally joyous occasion, with the tender yet passionate union of a loving couple’s two halves; this is sacred sex – without shame or regret.
Sacred as opposed to religious – with its blame, disgrace and sinfulness. Sex that is celebrated, talked about, written about, depicted – sex that is not taboo.
My Erotic Photoart is sexy, sensual, artistic and adventurous. However, it does test the boundaries between erotic and pornographic.
One definition for pornography is: Anything that is arousing – be it words or pictures – is porn; by that definition my work is pornographic. But the most accepted, most commonplace defini-tion is: Pornography is offensive, derogatory, rude, tacky, demeaning, vulgar, devoid of taste. Then – I believe – my work is not pornographic; but you will have to make up your own mind.
When I look at my work, I am aware of its vo-yeuristic nature. Tantra acknowledges that when we view the nude body, we gain satisfaction … and in the process indeed become voyeurs. This is an aspect of our nature Erotic Photoart caters for, unashamedly so.
I adore eros, the god of love. Eros – according to Plato – is the creative force that inspires art, literature and the sciences. Hence Erotic Photoart, a celebration of the nude female body, of beauty and of our sex drive.