I thank everybody from the bottom of my heart … especially my little grandson JJ, who’s sung me the most lovely birthday song (learnt at his Steiner school):

It was 70 years ago today

That Opa did come down from heaven to stay

He came to bring goodness and joy to the earth

Good people and angels attended his birth

So let us all join in singing

Birthday bells are ringing

Happy happy birthday 

Happy happy birthday

Among the many best wishes I received; my wife Jan thanked me for:

• • emotional and physical support
  • giving me permission to be myself
  • being engaged and always willing to discuss issues
  • upholding truthfulness at all times
  • being the best comfort in the world

My daughter Saskia has – over the years – often expressed her love to me in writing (this is a small, very small excerpt from the many cards & letters I hold so dear (in fact, I collated this section before Saskia sent me the letter I now include below) … thanks, Sas.

• • I love you so much, daddy, and every day I am thankful to have such a loving, caring honest and generous father/male figure I so look up to in my life
  •  
  • I know I can chat with you about anything; to have a relationship like that with my father is something I cherish so much and something that I know is far and in-between with families, so I will never take it for granted
  •  
  • thank you for being so supportive of me, adoring me and being my best friend in time of need
  •  
  • I am writing this on my last day before I jet off to Europe; to say I have truly enjoyed my time staying with you is the understatement of the century
  •  
  • I’ve always known I have a special dad – someone I look up to as a father, but also as a good human being … centered, loving, peaceful, generous, open and always there for his children
  •  
  • Know this, daddy, your faithfulness to your children is not lost on me. I’m very proud to call you my daddy – but most of all grateful
  •  
  • I still and will for-ever-more want to be ‘just like you’ and still look up to you in every way

To my kids I had issued a wish: On my seventieth birthday will you please let me bear witness to the speech you would hold at my funeral …

… Saskia – a few days later – wrote this letter to me:

As I sit down to write this, it was my father’s 70th birthday a few days ago. And for his birthday all his three children were asked to write something about our father and read it out in front of everyone. My brothers came prepared, with heartfelt loving messages, their words are already shown in my fathers birthday blog post.  

But for me, I said nothing. I held my fathers arm after they said their words and everyone was eating cake, after my son had sung his birthday song to his Opa. And I said nothing. I couldn’t say anything. The lump was stuck in my throat and I worried that I’d just be a blubbering mess, trying, with little ability to express my love for my father. That enormity. That incredible fine balance on a knife-­‐edge of loving so much, coupled with the great fear of loss. 

You see, initially the request of speaking at his 70th birthday was along the lines of “what would you say at my funeral?”  

Gulp. 

And see, for a self confessed ‘daddy’s girl’ I hide from the concept of my own father’s mortality. The thought, that my go-­‐to for advice and backup for just-­‐about-­‐everything could (ahem… does) have an inevitable end date leaves me feeling like someone just punched me in the guts. 

But I let myself down. I said nothing that day, on his birthday celebration. Simply, because I couldn’t express… IT ALL… the gratitude, for the wisdom, for the disagreements that made me learn, for the boundaries that were held, for the support that’s constantly given, for the endless love, for the feeling that he will always be there at the end of the phone (even if the news is on). How could I express all this? And so much more, which I felt was deserved (and asked for), yet a tall order for this ‘daddy’s girl’ to put into words. 

I guess at the heart of it, it’s as simple as this, since becoming a parent I have discovered just HOW MUCH my father loves me (in fact how much ALL my parents love me, all four of them, but for now we’re just talking about dad), because his love for me is expressed through my love for my sons.  

I learnt to love by being loved. 

And my greatest role to date, Motherhood, and my fulfillment in it, is therefore directly attributed to you, dad.  

But, dad can also be a bit of a shit, let’s just be honest. You can’t cook with onions, or garlic when preparing a family meal, when our great meaningful conversations come to the topic of God (a subject we wholeheartedly disagree on) he’ll spend the next thirty minutes trying to convince me his opinion is CORRECT.  

Stubborn he may be, but judgmental he his not, and his pursuit of PEACE is central to his work and that work creates ripples throughout the family, the community and indeed the world.  

I believe that I chose one of the great men of this world to be my father. He is a light that shines, and is a light that shines in my heart. And that is expressed through the feeling of being loved, attracting a partner who truly loves me, knowing I’m worthy, knowing a strong woman is valued, knowing that I can, like really CAN, and I WILL because of the love my father has instilled in me. 

This love, this sense of wholeness and worthiness, will be passed down to my children, and then their children and their children and so on. And my dad will be remembered. For creating a family of empowered, wholehearted, gentle, kind, strong, adventurous, courageous, passionate, driven people who will have an impact on this world… all this began with the love of my father. So he will be remembered. Forever and ever. 

Happy 70th birthday dad! I love you back. 

Yani wrote this poem for me:

his weaknesses made me stronger

his strengths made me wiser

his wisdom guided


he always provided

he mentored


he sacrificed


he supported

as I take the honour of parenthood


he guides me


he cares for my son


he even walks besides me when I am wrong

he speaks the truth 


he never lies


boy am I lucky


to have seen the world


through my father’s eyes …


happy birthday dad.

happy 70th birthday to my dad!

My big boy Radjin wrote this speech for me …

Today we celebrate Dad’s 70th birthday. What a milestone that is. Having my own son I can only imagine what it must be like having 3 children and 4 grand children

Our father is by far one of the most giving people any of us know. He gave up his life in Germany to come and raise us 38 years ago

He gave up working in his studio to be able to be there when we left for school and got home in the afternoon

And we are all the better for it

Dad has always been selfless. As a child I remember he supported everything we ever wanted to do. The effort he put in to allow us to pursue our hobbies was amazing

Yani, Saskia and me have all developed amazing passion and skill in our chosen areas of expertise and so much of that has come from dad’s support over the years

I’ve often thought to myself how lucky we are to have been raised the way we were. Dad spent so much time and effort in teaching us about integrity, truth, love, wisdom and compassion

I always felt like we were being raised in a way that was teaching us an understanding of life on a different level than our friends. I’m certain of that now

What I was exposed to in the army was a rude awakening as to what happens when you aren’t raised properly. The attitudes of my friends was often appalling and I used to think to myself how lucky I was to have been raised the way I had been

SO many of the lessons dad had spent so much effort in teaching us became clear and relevant

For me to be exposed to that mentality and come out the way that I have, untainted by the hate and fear that the military instills in people is due to my upbringing

We all now have wonderful relationships and gorgeous children. We have our parents to thank for that

I wouldn’t have been able to attract such an amazing partner as Alanna and create such a gorgeous baby as Keanu if it wasn’t for you, dad

In one of the many books I’ve recently read it talks about how up to 90% of our beliefs and attitude comes from our parents

SO thank you, dad. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us. Thank you for your sacrifices. Thank you for your dedication. Thank you for your wisdom

But most of all … Thank you for your love